end it all

I was a 12 year old living in Hyderabad.  We moved to Chennai.  I did not like it - the change was overwhelming.  Different language, new house, new neighbours, and more impotantly I missed my old friends. I specially did not like the new school.

I thought about ending it all.  I started walking towards the railway tracks.  Half way through, I imagined myself waiting for the train to come and then to lie across the tracks. After some distance, I realised there is no point in waiting specially when you want to end it all. I made up my mind not to wait, I would reach the tracks and if a train comes up at that exact time, I would end it all.  I was able to see the tracks now and sure enough, a train was just approaching.  I then made up my mind, if there is no point in waiting, there is no point in rushing too.  I looked up - the train was in no hurry either.  It was at the exact speed that is required for the train to be upon me when I reach the tracks.  My legs slowed just a wee bit so that the train just went past me when I neared the tracks. What a sad moment, I thought, it is not worth waiting for the next train.

On my way back, I said hello to my new friend with a smile and opened my English text to read - that is the next easiest thing to do.