TRUST

We take ourselves for granted. And we take others for granted. We trust ourselves and others.

When I want something I reach out with my hand. When I see a hurdle I just jump over. When I hear someone I retort. We take our limbs for granted. We take our senses for granted. We expect them to obey our commands like obedient slaves. Mostly they do – but not always.

We trust them. We expect them to obey. Totally. Like our pets. Like making our dogs shake hands or fetch something. There isn’t much gaining by making a dog shake hands or fetch things. Nothing for us, at least. But we do – because we expect them to do our bidding. Just because we enjoy the fact that they obey us – and we trust them to obey us.

And once in a while they don’t.

That’s when the world changes. The initial reaction is a sense of total disbelief. It just cannot be that commands are disobeyed.

Today morning I got a call at an unearthly hour from my uncle’s place. He was lying on the bed. His breathing was shallow.

His eyes were wide open. They expressed total disbelief. A sense of shock. He couldn’t believe that someone wouldn’t obey his commands. His own limbs. One of his hands wouldn’t obey him. One of his legs wouldn’t obey him. He cannot express. The mouth disobeyed him. But his eyes still did. A moment where eyes talked, the heart listened and the mind wouldn’t believe.

He tried raising his left hand. Good boy – it is up. Wriggle the fingers – good boy. Turn your wrist – great going. Fine - raise your right arm now. Nope! If the right hand had eyes they would be as expressive as an indignant cat’s eye. Try hard buster – here I’ll help with my left arm. Nope! I just can’t believe that one part wouldn’t listen to the other. How is it that I can’t obey myself? The only thing he could trust then was his eyes – they shed tears. Trust me.

He was okay one moment and was paralysed the next. His right side was not obeying him. And he cannot understand how it could be that way. These are my parts of body – they had better obey. No! They wouldn’t. The trust was betrayed.

When we cannot afford to trust ourselves why do we take ourselves for granted. When we can’t trust ourselves where is the question of trusting others?

The more the trust, the more the disbelief when the trust is broken.

When the mind is the master and the heart is a slave, the trust is broken.

When the heart is the master and the mind is a slave, there is no trust. Nothing is taken for granted. Trust is matter of the heart, not the mind. You cannot break a trust that isn’t there. At least you need not disbelieve. Have heart.

Peripa, K Ramaswamy – 16.12.2005 0430 a.m.